Self Harmony is not about wearing flower-crowns and smelling like a fucking geranium ecoya candle. It has an anti douche-baggery policy. It is a place where your life is easy because you have internal alignment. TSHP is about dishing out dick-punches for the ways we harm ourselves; from harming our bodies through our eating or harsh exercising habits, to the negative inner dialogue that says we failed or we need to be more before we can be happy.
TSHP Coaching is coaching with a difference. Utilising effective sub-conscious tools from neuro-linguistic programming to hypnosis you can get results quicker and easier than you’d imagine!
Who does TSHP Coaching help?
Here is a list of some not-so-fucking-helpful thoughts that TSHP is about helping with. They are oh-so-common but frankly they make my vagina dryer than an empty 2-humped desert camel because their presence in your life is pretty flaccid & I.AM.TURNED.OFF on your behalf.
- You desperately JUST NEED TO LOSE THAT WEIGHT so it can finally ALL start getting better?
- You’re searching for that quick fix/diet/cutting out XYZ food group that’ll make it different THIS TIME, to help you get there quicker while vowing to be even stricter? (Because there’s no more time for fuck-ups..AM.I.RIGHT?)
- Thinking life is hard cos you can’t seem to get in control? Sometimes you do so well but you are always one step away from the ‘ah fuck it/this/that/everything’ and messing it all up?
- You think if/when you are thinner, THEN you’d feel good enough to be loved by our fellow peen-wielding members of the opposite sex? Finally good enough to be accepted, to get that job, THEN you’d have the confidence to be unstoppable?
- Are you consumed daily by thoughts of what you ate, what you’re going to eat, constantly worried if its ‘good’ or ‘bad’ or if you’ve exercised enough to make it ‘allowed’?
- Maybe, you feel so powerless to change you push it down pretend you don’t care, but deep inside really, if you knew there was an easy way you’d take it in a heartbeat?
- Are you always surrounded by drama, keep dating assholes or seem to get walked over and left thinking…YOU EPIC FUCK-KNUCKLES. WHAT.THE.ACTUAL?
- Perhaps you ARE trying to ‘just love yourself’ but you don’t know how? And you’re all “WELL CHAMPION, if I could click my heels together like fucking dorothy and love myself, I would, but it ain’t going down that way
That list alone sounds like the equivalent of a universal turkey slap. Universal dick-to-the-face? NO.THANK.YOU. Imagine instead being able to put ALL THAT ENERGY into how to fulfil your life, grow in the direction YOU choose, perhaps even be fucking epic?
**Not currently thinking ‘EPIC’ is on the cards?
I GET IT. I too used to think it was all a bit far-fetched from where I was sitting.
Please refer to: MY STORY – “Self Help Gurus, you bunch of dick-lickers”)
What results can you create?
How does it sound if …
- You could stop the yo-yo cycle of dieting, the food deprivation, create sustainable habits & still have your ideal body? One that you look in the mirror at & think GODDAMNIT YOU MINX. STAAAPHH being so attractive.
- Your weekend no longer would be a downwards rollercoaster ride to the Sunday night guilt-ridden crisis of, “well I fucked that right up AGAIN”?
- You just exercised without it being punishment or permission for eating…instead you had a healthy motivation to be fitter and stronger?
- You could actually find that ‘happiness’ place you are searching for RIGHT NOW and you don’t have to ‘BE MORE’ of anything to get there!
- You could even easily stop putting up with that dick-waffle (ya’ll know who he is) who you chase around yet he flaky AF/has casual sex with you/won’t commit and get yourself a relationship with someone who treats yo’ right! And texts back!
- You could be 100% empowered over your life and how people treat you. You can drive it (instead of feeling the universe is shitting on you without permission) with confidence in yourself to go after what you want?